2007年9月17日 星期一
A busy day
Today was the first day to this semester and I had a lot of course to attend. Besides, I had nine classes in a day. After school I was very tired, I wanted to sleep. But I could not do that because I had a part-time job after school. Moreover, today was my first day to do this part-time job. I worked in a language cram school. What I had to do is call every student on telephone book to make sure that they can recite the English 26 alphabet letters and vocabulary or not. It took a lot of time to me. Besides, when I finished my work, went back to the dormitory and do what I had to do. I suddenly found out one thing is now is very late and I should go to bed. Today was a very busy day to me.
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"first day to this semester" ==> "first day of this semester"
"a lot of course to attend" ==>
"a lot of {courses / classes} to attend"
"Besides, I had nine classes in a day." This is not good English for two reasons. First, it's verbose -- that means it has too many words. Second, it is repetitive -- that means you've already said most of this in the previous sentence. The best way to include this information is to add it to the previous sentence like this: "nine classes (Can you believe it?) to attend"
"on telephone book" ==> "in the telephone book"
"they can recite the English 26 alphabet letters" ==> "they could recite the 26 letters of the English alphabet"
"and vocabulary or not" ==> "and the vocabulary they were supposed to have memorized"
"took a lot of time to me" ==> "took me a lot of time"
"Besides, when I finished my work, went back to the dormitory and do what I had to do. I suddenly found out one thing is now is very late and I should go to bed." ==> "When I finished my work, went back to the dormitory and did what I had to do, I suddenly found that it was very late and I should go to bed."
Don't use "besides". You use it incorrectly, as most Taiwanese do.
Despite your grammatical and idiomatic errors, however, your English is very clear. I had no trouble at all understanding what you said. That's good.
Bill
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